Self as it is

A wave of pain crowds my eyes
Confusing me
I wonder should I cry or just smile away the tears.

Wave after wave it keeps coming
I wonder how long I will be able to sustain it.

I don’t know now how to react to life
I forgotten to associate emotions with their respective actions

I smile in pain and cry in happiness.

A facade that is all that life has become for me
An image to portray how others perceive me.

Who am I?
What do I feel?
I no longer know

Self so buried within that all that’s left
Is a placard
that here lies self as it is