Missing Him

I thought I would be happy without him.
I thought it would be easy getting over him but i guess when i love someone as much as i love him it might not be that easy. I'm not sure if I'm doing what my heart thinks is best, I think my mind is over powering my heart. I'M thinking of what I said and alot of its not true. I'm following what people want me to do. I think Ive pushed it to far this time, i think it might finally be over. I want to be with him and only him but i told him this was the last time. I hugged him for the 1st time 2day and it made me so happy.I'M not the same without him.I'M not as happy as i was b4. Ive noticed that when i think of him i just want to cry . But i don't want people to ask questions. All i want is to be with him and be happy again. I'm not sure of what to do anymore. If i do ask him back out I'm afraid of what he'll say. Its hard going threw this so many times in two years. When we hugged i never wanted to let go because i was afraid I would never get to hug him again.We'll just have to let the days go by and see what happens.

~Jenn Courtway