Great poem! It's very true, and it kept me thinking. Though, I must say, it's a bit cliche, you still made it your own. Great job!

5/5

Hrmm, I liked the messege held within this piece, however, I didn't really enjoy the structure. Perhaps breaking it into stanza/verses would help in this case to make the flow/rhythm better. I also noticed you used no punctuation. Punctuation is very important, it allows the read to know when to pause/stop as well as add to the overall flow. Overall, this was just alright for me, it could've been excellent with much more power and meaning held behind it if you took the time to just do small little revisments such as I mentioned. Keep up the good work though, you do have talent.

Peace, Joe

Great poem
MEssage is true, and its thought provoking
Great Job
Keep em coming 5/5