Great job.Very good job holding attention as everyone has been saying.I liked how you went from object to the woman to the man through-out it. Excellent job. 5/5
Miranda

Um wow, really wasn't expecting that out of a 14 year old, you sure that's really how old you are!?! lol. it was beautifully written, i loved it!

Wonderful. you've got romance down to an art.

Ok I hate long poems, I can't stand them. But that had me so enthrawled that I didn't realise the length, and I actually wanted to keep reading. Normally erotica isn't my thing, but man that was good. The fact you interwined so much nature in there made it so sensual. If that's from your imagination, what a fiery and inspired one you have. Truly well done!!!!

Speechless, that's all I can say. This poem was such a great one that to me it should win a contest. Wow, cannot explain how great this one is.