Since no one cares I'll lay back here and do nothing. just smoke my life away. that sounds better then being hated. i can't push all of this pressure away. can't make it through my days, the same way. i can't lift my head straight and not care about what anyone says. now i am someone who doesn't know how to feel. can't go on through the day without a new heartache. this pain isn't what i want to have to go through everyday. i hope i would be able to wish this all away. i wish i didn't have to lay here and complain all day. now i don't know how to speak to you. speechless, unforgiving. i am a wreck. your yelling and criticizing is not helping. i need more of it to bring my self esteem down. i can't even walk through my bedroom door without thinking about how awful my life has rapidly changed. i think i am drifting off before my very own eyes. i can't make any sense of anything anymore. i do not know if i am just a bore, or another crazy toy. i wish i could take everything back. all that is left. but it is highly impossible with the lies you have left me with. i have wished for the impossible way too long. i am sending all my dreams and wishes to the heavens. this isn't what i hoped for in life. i never dreamt of this night to come to an end.
