Final Moments

I really like this poem!!! i give it a 5/5!! =)

This was such an amazing piece. Your words were truly haunting as I could really relate to them. It is only when I read poetry like this of others that i realize what others around me must go though due to my depression. You know when you cut its as if you are taking the pain from the inside and inflicting it on your body. and the blood that comes out is like your pain escaping your body but the thing is that although it may help for those short moments the scars you are left with which remind you that the pain is real and never really let you overcome it as you are forever having to remember when things went wrong.

Thanks 4 commenting back!
this is a gorgeous poem, even though it's about pain.
xxx

Wow this was brilliant.

The only thing that made it hard to read were the different amounts of lines in your last two stanzas. Your first two had six lines but the last two have four and eight. Maybe you could space it so each stanza has six lines? This would help your poem flow much smoother. Also, the way that you spaced your lines. The flow is choppy. I just seems like you wrote some sentences and then broke them in odd places. (I hate to sound negative. Please don't take it this way. I'm just trying to help.)

But other than those two little things, this poem has a great concept that I can really relate to. Good Job. =) 4/5

Great piece of work 5/5 =)