I'll Always Love You

by Riz   Jul 17, 2007


(My first love poem)

You promise me
You'd never leave
You lied to me
But I still believe
I tried
but I fell
And now
I'm in hell
It's true
Because of you

It was summer time
We were drinking so much
Gatorade lemon-lime
Hey, you laugh, I'm touched
And when times are rough
We sit together
Holding together
The tears were enough

And when we play all night
You love to see me smile
Don't worry about the light
It's through so many miles
I know we had so much fun
But now, our love is done

You promise me
You'd never leave
You lied to me
But I still believe
I tried
but I fell
And now
I'm in hell
It's true
Because of you

Why does this keep happening to me?
When all I want is a lot of love
So why does it always have to be
This way, when I should be above

I promise you
I will move on
For now we're threw
Until I'm gone

I tried
But I fell
I live
Just to tell
It's forever true
I'll always love you

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Alissa

    This was cute.
    Yet the emotion did not come out fully. Love poems are meant for that, I suggest to add adjectives, to over exaggerate on your meanings, leave metaphors for us to wonder about. Don't be so straight to the point, fiddle with words. Write your poetry like a mosaic. Use all your emotions, describe them, set them out. And let us look at it, and make us wonder.
    The poem was really cute in all,
    just try to describe more.
    You did great!

  • 17 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Well it was a good love poem, I think you should write more love poems m'dear =)

    Anyway I like the repetition in it. Flow is a little rocky but it's okay..

    Just a suggestion to add more punctuations in it :)

    Keep up the good work!

  • 17 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    So far, this is my favorite oem of yours. You have really wonderful love poem here. Truly a beautiful piece. The structure is nice and neat acompanied by a great flow, which makes this a wonderful read.5/5

    marcella

  • 17 years ago

    by CompletelyIncomplete

    Love is a feeling that inspires everyone. I am glad that finally you are becoming the reason of my inspiration. But I will try to write a funny love poem :)

    Your poems is great 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    Riz,

    For your first love poem, I may as well commend the distinct neatness of this piece. The refrain was delightfully engaging, and I liked how you placed fine details of a romantic birth on the second stanza; the rest further helps in wrapping up the whole poem.

    "Why does this keep happening to me?
    When all I want is a lot of love..."

    ^Dead right. We human beings naturally desire to love and be loved, indeed. I believe it's just a matter of time, patience, and acceptance. At least I know for certain.

    Nice one, nevertheless. Thanks for sharing, m'dear. Take care, Marian

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