Comments : A Vampires Dilemma

  • 16 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Stalking the night
    in search of prey
    Looking such a fright
    in my unearthly way"

    Amazing word choice and rhyming, I love how you opened this dark poem up like this.

    "Skin marble white
    teeth set in place
    With my humanity I fight
    and my death I face"

    Great descriptions, truly takes my breath away.

    "Times running slim
    the sun's rising higher
    I must fed from one of them
    on that need I'm dyer"

    Wow, you really set the scene perfectly, you describe so much, and I can clearly see these images running through my mind.

    "Finding you alone
    crouching in your fear
    You panic shone
    my unbeating heart it did sear"

    Beautiful words, again nice work.

    "Letting you go free
    I leave for my home hungry
    Why is it I can't see
    this is the way I'll always be"

    Good ending, I thought it really made the reader acknowledge the vampire's feelings and thoughts throughout this piece. This piece was so fun to read, take care, 5/5 from me. Keep writing, always and forever...

  • 16 years ago

    by Aubrey

    Not only do I love vampires, you worded it uncanny. Great Job this is prolly one of my favorite of yours. Nice work. 5/5