Defeated ©L. Holloman 2007

I'm lost and I'm not sure why,
I laugh and I'm happy but yet I still cry.
Is there a trick to this that I haven't figured out?
To get out of this way is my biggest doubt.

I know they'll judge all my scars and cuts,
but they don't realize how hard it is to get out of these ruts.
They can't see how hard it is to be like this,
I don't understand why my feelings have gone so amiss.

All the medications just make things worse,
is it just me or do i seem to be under a curse?
As hard as I try I'm still stuck in this hole,
and as much as I look I still see no where to go.

I feel alone, like there's no one else who feels like me,
I feel stupid, this is not how any life should be.
I think of all the good memories I could have had,
yet I sit here with all these stupid scars I have.

How do I sit here with the greatest feeling of peace,
when I know that that is something I should have the least.
I feel stupid for sitting here deranged,
But it's like my whole life has gone down the drain.
������©Linsey Holloman 2007