Counted On My Fingers

Sometimes it's just hard to accept the truth,
And maybe that's why I'm finding it hard right now.
I've had enough, so I'm not looking for proof,
To think I cried for you, I shed my tears somehow,

Knowing there's no-one there, so no-one hears,
To think, I thought friends forever existed.
And to still have love for you, when all you did,
Was throw it back on my face and leave me disgusted.

Painfully showing me no-one cared.
You'd rather talk behind my back than return what I gave.
You hurt others, but me; you could've spared,
Now I've realised I was being too naive.

You don't understand how hard it was to say goodbye,
Because I was always saying no-ones real.
Though I thought I had accepted it long ago,
But deep inside, for you I still did feel.

And so once again tonight, like every other night,
I go to bed, counting on my fingers those that care;
Those who helped keep me in the light,
Then counting those I love, if I'd dare.

I actually believed, though you weren't around,
You loved me. Just as much as I loved you.
I thought, though apart, our friendship was sound;
Then hope just died, wilted then dried because of you.

When you said, 'when you leave you're forgotten'.
Then once again, like the night before I had left,
I went to bed; with the duvet in my mouth
I screamed; like I was deaf.

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