Life Story

I've never been truly happy,
Like a child ought to be,
A heavy grey cloud,
A mist of black smoke,
Has always hung over me.

Into my early teenage years,
The pain, it grew too much,
For reasons unknown,
To me and to them,
I increasingly lost out of touch.

I started to feel just nothing,
My heart turned to lead,
My mind it grew numb,
My brain ceased to work,
I would have been better off dead.

The bad occurrences followed,
I saw lives ripped apart,
I then blamed myself,
Now i know better,
I was innocent from the start.

But back then i didnt reason,
I thought i needed punished,
I started to cut,
The pain it felt good,
And i felt myself diminish.

I never wanted suicide,
Just a release of pain,
That type of hurting,
Was better than none,
Anything to feel something again.

When he found out, i panicked,
I did not want his help,
I thought i was fine,
The pain was all mine,
Just as it should be, i felt.

Those miserable days were the worst,
Especially when mum found out,
I acted ok,
I was 'recovered',
But inside i knew i needed out.

Gradually i started to talk,
The clouds began to clear,
Fog began lifting,
I began smiling,
I became more content, less weary.

I still bear the scars that haunt me,
A sign of whats been and gone,
But troubles now passed,
The danger has gone,
I no longer feel in need and alone.

I hope that life has more for me,
Ill take the bright with the bleak,
As long as i live,
And live to the full,
Let the sunshine no longer be weak.

Thankyou.