This is a good poem but i feel you can do better...you have talent and i can see that but you just seem to be stuggling wit putting the words on the paper in this one...i do however like the emotion in this poem i think you just need to work with the flow and ryhming...keep it up..DOnt be mad...

I liked your wording... I agree^ u can do better though... It wasnt a steady rhythm to me. Hard to tell if there was a rhyme scheme too.

Good poem needs a little work I have read better from you the flow is no stedy and the rhythm was a little off however the emothion came throught very well.