Learned my lesson

My lone days are no longer.
I sit here and I ponder.
What was I thinking.
How so very rude.
Look at your life.
And how much you really take advantage of.

I have a roof over my head.
I have a mother that loves me.
I have food on the table.
And I have friends all around me.

I have a sudden spill to make.
One conversation..
That's all it takes.
A friend of mine,
Grew up so fast,
We're so close,
Hence why we've last.

Her mother was an addict.
I Never really knew.
All the secrets kept from me..
It's something that you never expect.
Something you can't believe is true..

I have come to realize,
that every adult I have to learn,
is really a horrible example.

My father for record,
has done the whole she-bang.
Heroin,
crystals,
crack,
and pot..
But he's my father and I shall not believe.

My mother for the record,
has had the toughest life.
She's been through hell,
and now I find out what she has to hide.
Two words:
Pill popper.
I knew that she had changed,
although I thought it was just the meds.
Not her own decision to addiction.

My sister for the record,
Has been around the block.
She's been in cuffs,
Smoked the can,
And now she's the best thing next to me to stand.
She IS my other half.

My godmother for the record,
Has slammed down far too many.
She has done the junk,
got arrested for it,
and tried to break the habit.

My best friend for the record,
Has done some stupid crap.
He's been put on disability
and spent the money on crack.
He's smoked some rollos,
brought up some white,
Stuffed his sack,
and puffed the pipe.

But without these people I'd be nothing.
I would have looked into the past.
I would judge the in-important,
And sunk into the crowd.

Myself .. off the record..
Has done some messed up things.
I've rolled it and passed it.
Inhaled it and ashed it.
Swallowed and slammed it.
Snorted and laughed it.
I've cut so deep I thought I would die.
Popped a few to stop my cries.

I've made some bad decisions..
Half I don't remember in my past.
To feel numb and relieved,
But it's only pushed me off the road I planned to take,
and kicked me in the butt.

I've thought about this far to deep.
That wasn't the life I had wanted to keep.
I love those people dearly,
But they have taught me what not to be.
They've all showed me a life learned lesson,
I don't have to be the same,
But I have to live my dream.

I look up at them,
and I realize the true meaning.
You live your life and I'll live mine.
But don't let the cheating come between us.