I actually enjoyed this poem. A lot the vocab really stood and drew me in, making it a more interesting read. I loved these lines,
"All will be buried, left unsaid
As that side of me I put to bed"
They were put together nicely.
The flow was off here and there but, overall it was a beautiul poem. Great write. 5/5

marcella

Beautifull written ,as I read I felt somewhat sad.

Bert
What a deep and intense piece you have penned. Very sad and heartfelt.

For many I can see varied pains to come
Easily they may be averted by some
A warning or another option is all they need
Time to be hard and cold, let them bleed

These lines really just grab you.
Great job my friend.
Take Care Cindy

For many I can see varied pains to come
Easily they may be averted by some
A warning or another option is all they need
Time to be hard and cold, let them bleed

Bert, what a emotions poems... something like lost someone, but if that you meant..sorry to hear that...anyway, you be safe....

Time to turn day into night
that line stood out to me a lot so did many others! you used very strong words and made them flow together very well. there are some very good rhymes in here nice job 5/5

Overlooking its technical aspects, I think the poem addresses of a subject who tries to encourage others through his written works and such to. But then, after he received such spiritual enlightenment, he no longer desires to write and help others out, considering their capabilities to manage their own lives. It seems to me that the subject wants to rest, and doesn't care if other's "bleed" or get hurt. I don't know. Just my thoughts, anyway. I liked the thought of receiving illumination, whereas I found it quite saddening if you--if ever you are the subject addressed by this piece--leaving and "closing [your] mind's eye..." Oh. Well. Anyway. I've had an enjoyable visit. Thanks for sharing. =)

Regards,
Debbie

I like the repetitipn of the first verse again as the ending verse.....very nice....

Several lines in this stand out....

Raising the cup to my mouth I take a big gulp
Realizing my mind is turning to pulp

^ sometimes the words just don't come....

I weep, almost cry
As I close my minds eye

^ so sad......humans need the comfort and love of others....can't think of a worse fate than that of a recluse.....Well written and thought provoking!

It is beautifully written,I feel...
A food for thought if I might say...It makes me think that all we need is just the warmth and care of others to keep us going...

I really love it(:

Hi Bert,

This was a difficult piece to read as is with all sad pieces but it was well structured and conceived. A fine job indeed

I can truly relate to this poem. As I read it, it almost felt as if I were writing the words myself. You have some very deep thoughts and you put them into words wonderfully. I was able to follow this poem with no problem at all. Keep up the good work.

Amzinly Wrote