There's This Star, You See

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Jul 29, 2007


Soothing stars breathe their amnesty through impurity;
They tell you, "Lick the salty tears off your lips."
You run teaming with your religious wishes,
But they whisper, "You needn't run away, we're praying you fall."

You breathe a different story every time you pray,
But there's something about you, so the angel keeps whispering,
"As long as you regard me, I'll save you one day."

There's this star, you see, looking down upon you,
But don't look too quickly; you might stir dust to your eyes.
They talk to you regardless of the moon's last wishes;
"She's worthless, nothing more than a regret to the past."

You breathe a different story every time you pray,
But there's something about you, so the angel keeps whispering,
"As long as you regard me, I'll save you one day."

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Andrew Morton

    You captured the pain of waiting to be saved flawlessly, i love how every poem you write has a different style, a different technique behind it, its very refreshing and i'd love to see more from you in this style, keep it up

  • 17 years ago

    by Rose not your average

    You have done better. this write wasnt very smooth and could have been done better i just didnt get a picture in m head or really feel the poem!

  • 17 years ago

    by Synh

    "Soothing stars breathe their amnesty through impurity"

    That line. Amazing.

    "You breathe a different story every time you pray,"

    That was my favorite line. There was such beauty and truth behind it because throughout a persons lifetime, they pray many prayers with different meanings.

    This was so amazing that I hate you. The flow was perfect, right on key, and you free verse like a beast lol. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Sheena Dear, You are an amazing poet, and your talent seems to grow with each piece I read of yours. This one was great. It was different and that was the refreshing part of this. Unlike me, you change up your rhyme scheme. haha. The line that stuck out the most to me was: "She's worthless, nothing more than a regret to the past." What a line! Amazing! How do you think of these things?! It's like, friggen awesome! You have such talent and that's why you continue to be in my favorites! :)
    Ciao<3

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    "Soothing stars breathe their amnesty through impurity;"
    ^How did you think up of that line? Hell, it's smashing!

    "She's worthless, nothing more than a regret to the past."
    ^ That line alone was sweltering with emotions, very intense. But, besides the emotions, I sensed it's screaming something else...

    "You breathe a different story every time you pray,"
    ^My favorite line! Glad you brought this idea into play. Dead right on my face.

    I really, really liked the outcome of this poem. And the refrain as well. There's a tinge of bittersweet mockery within your words, which was rather appealing and delightful to read. Like I've said, I noticed something fishy with its substance. Some sort of a tale behind in every tale, you know? How 'bleak' hope is akin to the smallest light which shines in the dark captivated me completely. Better read in silence than aloud, though. Thanks for sharing! ~Marian xD

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