My life is....

Life is like a flower, 15 white scented petals, holed by a steam, no leaves, just the white naked flesh petals, until they start to fall, one by one, floating upon the floor, when the 5th naked petal hits the verge of the cold bathroom floor.
i hold my breath and count, 1..2..3..4.., i pick up my sharp blue razor blade then count some more, 5..6..7..8.., i look deep into my hazel eyes upon the mirror, i mark with only my flesh and blood, my territory i pray,
9..10..11..12.., i start cursing and marking your name in my arm.
the marks mean nothing to you, nor dose my bruised heart mean anything, markings on my skin, isn't going to change anything from my top draw i grab a bullet 13..14..15.., Finlay the last white naked flesh peddle drops to the cold white tiles upon the bathroom floor, by this time, Ive gave up on marking your name into my arm, but i sit there an engrave your name into the cold silver bullet that lies into my hand, like i said markings mean nothing at all to you in your selfish, hated world, i hold the gun desperately to my throat, shaking, worrying, not caring whats around me i pull the trigger.
BANG
i hit the ground as i fall i watch you from afar, i see you with her smiling an laughing finally i see a white light, i walk towolds it, i don't stop i don't turn around to see you, i smile and i run away just to see who will come running after you, but in the end I'm still running in the white light but you haven't come yet?
now its time for me to move on i run, and i wont look back.