Thoughts of the Mindless

by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden   Jul 31, 2007


My train of thought has just derailed
Into my heart something impaled
The binding on my soul has been undone
The tape playing in my mind has rerun
Sparks are shooting from my brain
All sense of mind has begun to drain
I find the words turn into mush
I feel my blood begin to rush
The slightest sound I'll pull my hair
My marbles have gone to who knows where
I can not speak but screams and yelps
I don't think medication helps
I think that I have lost my mind
I feel I'm starting to unwind
Everything is unraveling
I see my hand don't pull the string
I'll come undone and won't come back
Someone please give me a whack*
I think my knees are going out
I don't understand what this is about
Why do I know nothing now?
I don't know what or who or how
The voices scream but they're not mine
What's happening? Give me a sign
The voices stopped. Where are my eyes?!
Why have my senses gone to lies?!
They will not show me what I feel
Am I wounded will I heal?
I don't remember my own name
I need to know who is to blame
Please help me all I see is white
I won't go down without a fight
I need a change I am confused
It seems my brain cells are all used
Am I on drugs or am I dead?
Why have all of the voices fled?
I can not feel I do not see
What is happening to me?

Please comment and if you don't comment the least you can do is rate. :) I'm aiming for at least 76 votes. Help me out here!
* Whack: As in hitting someone to knock some sense into them.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Trisha

    :) Great poem. I love the flow and the word usage is nice... Good luck in future writing!
    XOXO Trish

  • 17 years ago

    by GoodMEMORIES

    It was really good at the beginning, but i think that the end was not so great for me. I think that the flow was kind off also

    3/5

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I really LOVE the first...eh... eight lines or so.. and then it went down hill and I lost complete interest.
    You always need to remember when writing to keep it interesting and non-cliche for your readers. It helps, trust me.

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 4.5

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I love this...this was amazing.
    Flow was good throughout, imagery was fantastic, really created vivid pictures and word usage was beautifully done.
    The only suggestion I have is to try and eliminate some of the fillers (I, you, and etc) but other than that this is perfect!

  • 17 years ago

    by tears i cry

    Not you best but still pretty good it lacked a bit of flow for me 4/5 for well written but lack of flow

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