Schizophrenic Paralysis

Among the tree of knowledge
i stumble and i fall
let the darkness take me over
too afraid to answer or call

my tears refresh the earth
i can see the happiness radiate
as i crawl over to the lake
it whispers softly my hidden fate

enlarged my pupils compensate
for the bed to which i am bound
finally alone, finally free
I've learned how to never be found

i see the light as i glance back
and curiously stumble my way through
the bushes brush and tangle and cut
and the blood seeps a light blue

for here whether outside or inside
i am all the same
no chains have enabled me
to let free a beast that will never be tame

and the pain has left
i know it wont come back
as i reach into the light
i see nothing else but black

I'm not scared i understand
i can never return to their life
safe inside my mind
i investigate this faceless strife

i can fight it off here
and gods how i will rule
a queen unlike any other
a forbidden unique jewel

all i need to do is remember
and i yell it to the sky
suddenly a door appears
i could at least try

but it would not open
it would not even budge
so i placed my body on it
and tried to give it a nudge

as i realized it wont open
i banged till i started to bleed
as my blood dripped it disappeared
as if it were to feed

and right before my eyes it turned
into a huge willow tree
the door melted right off
and inside was a sleeping me

i touched her skin and gasped
she was perfect and yet real
her eyes opened white and innocent
she said she was here to heal

"just come with me mommy
ill show you around"
i grabbed her hand and walked
without even making a sound

the further we went the lighter it was
until we came to paradise
my dream home with flowers and stones
and a ready meal of salmon and rice

tears filled my eyes
but this time they were glad
to have finally be given
the things they never had

and i glanced to my left
where the new me smiled
and out of pure happiness i got up
and started to run wild

as my feet touched the ground
i noticed i had changed
my breath came easier
and my bones had rearranged

i looked down at the water
that i was standing on it would seem
and my heart nearly burst
as i fulfilled all of my dream

i was now a wolf
a wolf forever free
id stay this way for as long as i want
and still return to me

and though i always knew
this was simply schizophrenic paralysis
i decided id live here forever
because there was nothing on the outside to miss

-i know its long but idk i saw like all day just things about schizophrenic paralysis i thought it was a sign :/