Once upon a time I remember holding your hand [To my Dad]

by X Kashies Misery X   Aug 3, 2007


Where to begin and put my whole life into a structure,
It is unsorted I can't just put it into lines,
But I'll try....

Once upon a time I remember holding your hand,
I remember your smile,
I remember you telling me I was the best thing that ever happened to you and that you would always be there for me,
To guide, to watch me grow,
To hold my hand and be there threw it all...

And as I grew I saw you differently,
How you treated mummy like she was nothing,
How you hit her and yelled at her,
How you made her blue,
And I remember saying STOP IT,
You told me to shut up and then I knew...
I knew I wasn't your little girl anymore,
I knew you had problems that were just to big....

So I left and went and lived and still live with my Nan,
It is hard, but safe and I know you understand,
During those years we were apart,
You made me feel like dirt and you ripped my heart,
I cry now to think I have lost this relationship,
That now I hate you and can't stand to know you,
I don;t see you as anything more then a bad man,
But you are a good man to, but I just can't understand...

I want to love you and I want to forgive you,
But I just can't I will never be like you,
And even know I am not religious at all,
I pray to the sky just thinking if there is help,
I don't want you to miss out...
It makes me cry to know that I don't know why,
Why you verbally abuse me,
Why you hate me so...

And when I was little you use to sing me a song,
"Follow me, everything is alright, I'll be the one to tuck you in at night, follow me I can grantee, you won't find nobody else like me"
I smiled,
And now I cry,
How lies hid those very words which I begged you to sing me every night...
Selfish, greed, anger, regret,
Some times I just wish either of us was dead.

Once upon a time I remember holding your hand....

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Kylee

    Hey Hidden Kiss,
    I know how you feel, I was there too. I like to share a quote I know that helps me throu strange times..
    " What we focus on is what we create. In order to change what were creating, we must choose to change the way we think and to let go of the subconscious beliefs we learned in our childhood." Worth thinking about ....

  • 18 years ago

    by MiSZ ALAiNA

    Heyy just returnin a friendly comment.. i can relate in some ways to your poem..and i love your rhyming style

  • 18 years ago

    by Hebe

    What a das poem.
    Very emotional.
    I hope you'll be alright.
    Remember, it is not your fault, so don't regret your life.
    Keep going put it words, sometimes it helps.
    Take care

  • 18 years ago

    by Mihaela

    This poem is amazing!!I'm speechless!Unfortunately,lots of families are acting in this way and the only ones who suffer are the kids.I know what you felt when you wrote this poem because I had the same experience but a few years ago.So,what more cand I say?Be strong cause evertything will be alright. 5/5 XxX

  • 18 years ago

    by Kiss My Sass

    That's so sad. My family is like that too, except i'm still living with them both. My dad doesn't treat my mum wrong, he justs trats me wrong. It's hard for both of us and i'm osrry that you regret your life. Don't. It's his fault. Hate him, don't ask him to love you. These creatures never can.

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