"I think I deserve this pain you cause,
with every breath there is a pause,
a pause for every time you lie,
you just don't care and I don't know why,"

When we blame ourselves for something we cannot change or control, for something that is not really our fault, it fills the lost or sad feeling we have inside. You should never blame yourself for something that is not your fault. This was an emotive write, and I wish you all the best.