I'm alone in a room full of people,
I'm alone when I'm on my own,
i cry at night because it is better then doing nothing,
i show my feelings when I'm in the dark and quiet,
but i tell no one what i feel or don't feel,
because if i do feel something for a second,
i grown slowly even more numb then before,
i sit and think for hours in the dark,
but it doesn't help,
it doesn't take the numbness away,
and it doesn't bring back what I've lost,
it can't help me but i can't help myself either,
because what i have lost can not be returned or replaced,
it isn't something you can buy or pay off,
it isn't something you can live with or with out,
it's the most annoying and excruciatingly painful thing ever,
it's something that can brake your heart over and over again,
it doesn't help you sleep at night,
but adds one extra thing to think about,
it confuses you and hurts you,
and makes you want to scream,
but the numbness that you can choose to have,
is worse then feeling the pain,
it is something that when your sitting there not thinking,
of anything can creep up on you and make you cry months later,
it's the one thing that was taken away from me so long ago,
and can not be returned it never could,
the truth is it was never mine to start with,
and now it's to late to have it or accept it,
it is too late for me to want or need it now,
because it's gone and i will never feel something like that again,
not in the way i felt it before,
now it's just too late,
and the person that made me feel that way is long since gone,
but there are others right just waiting for me to feel that way about them,
but it will never happen,
because i am far to numb to feel the pain that it causes,
and maybe just maybe i don't want to feel that way again,
not that i could because no one can replace what i have lost.
