My Own Medication

My past comes back to haunt me,
Mocking all my rights made wrong.
All you see is what's on the surface,
And what you see is that I'm strong.

But inside reveals the truth,
The pain staking, bitter honesty.
I'm just another face in the crowd,
What more do you expect from me?

I've realized life's no fun sober,
I'm addicted to this intoxication.
Watch as I down shot after shot,
Living off my own medication.

I don't expect you to care,
I don't expect you to want to stay.
But when you pass me a new bottle,
Don't expect me to behave.

You follow me like a shadow,
Your name etched into my mind.
Your voice ringing in my ears,
It was all only a matter of time.

The first step is acceptance,
But how much longer can I hold on?
Tell me what the f.uck is wrong with me,
Will you ever forgive what I've done?

My words have been lost in time,
My dreams forgotten and untrue.
With my body weak and eyes drained,
Forgive that there's nothing left I could do.