Pulse

Excellent work, despite changing the rhythm between the stanzas I felt it all flowed perfectly. Both the moment you have picked to describe and the way you do this really impresses me. Very enjoyable read.

Mm. i liked that. it was so childish and sweet. 55

keep up your amazing skill.

Very short, I felt it could be a lot longer, however; I liked the short lines it made it feel like it was all happening so fast. Great write for such a short poem.

Peace, Joe

The poem itself is a huge metaphor. I have fallen in love with it. I actually find the figurative language breathtaking, and truly worthy of note. Its length seems to me to be efficient in augmenting the poem's appeal. A delight to read, nevertheless. ~Marian

To me this poem was short but said alot within it so I enjoyed it. Your word choice was really simple to me but effective at the same time. A smoothe flow was brought over this piece which you maintained throughout each line. A great ending. Overall this was a great read which I did really enjoy. ~Mel