CRUSH

You said in your profile that you want to know ways to improve, so heres something pretty basic that I would like to suggest: Your writing is very two-dimensional, in this poem at least, and I think you could spice it up with some imagery, or even just metaphors.

You told an interesting story, one that many can relate to. That is a very important aspect of poetry, in my opinion, because everyone loves a poem that they feel describes their own life. So good job with that part.

I think you used a little too much repetition in this poem- sometimes a little bit can emphasize a point, but too much makes the poem seem too simple. Try using different sentence structures, and finding different words to explain your emotions.

Speaking of emotions, this poem held some very strong ones, and I like that even though there are a lot of things that could make this poem better, you still managed to convey them. Kudos to you.

You have a lot of potential, you just need to add a little creativity to it. Take care, and good luck with your future writings. :)