A pain I try to hide

Every poem that I have wrote ,
is about events that have happened to me.
Its my way of dealing with things ,
but theres a pain I hide that I don't let anyone see.

One I have buried deep within but can never forget ,
that I wouldn't wish for anyone to have to go through.
Yes I am blessed with three healthy boys ,
so I'm luckier than most this I know is true.

What many don't know is that I should have four ,
a miscarridge took my second baby away.
This trauma I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy ,
to take away the pain theres nothing anyone can say.

My baby would have been 12 years old now ,
the sex of my baby I didn't wish to know.
I'd had the miscarridge very early on ,
so the baby never had time to grow.

But still my loss broke my heart ,
and the memory will always stay with me.
I wonder at times if I would have had a boy or a girl ,
then I have to tell myself it just wasn't meant to be.

Like I said I'm bessed with three healthy boys ,
they mean the world to me and more.
It did make me realise life is so precious ,
because you never know what life has in store.