This is frikken awesome!
I love this piece...imagery portrayed here is breathtaking, flow is flawless throughout and the wording and rhyming enjoyable.
I liked the repetition you used, it made a very powerful effect...just beautiful.

Wow, the repition was awesome, ive never seen anything like that before, there was so much chill and emotion in this, it was an eery poem that sent shivers down my spine.
take care
love Tara-Kay
x

Well this is only the second poem of yours I have read and I can tell you now I’m going to be adding you to my favorites list I hope one day I can write like you. The repetition has an amazing effect again your poem is flawless.

Not so used with this kind of poetry, it's my first time to encounter such kind.. but you say it in well detail that put up a freaky picture in my head.. the emotion were okay not so intense for me.

I love the form of this poem, some stanzas sound like echo, and that adds amazing effect to the whole piece. The atmosphere in the poem is very unique and captivating. I can relate to your words. Whole poem is very emotional.
I like the ending very much.
5/5 from me

I loved this poem, It was written so beautifully, the story behind it sad, but you did good job putting it into words, this poem is just filled with such emotions...

5/5

Great poem..and loved the repeatition..it really gave the poem a ..spark...

great job.

Amazing!

The style was unique, and I found out I liked it:) lol.
The poem was captivating, very much so.
The flow was effective, and the repetition really added to the errie feeling about this poem.

I absolutely loved it,
5/5 Elaine.

That is such a powerfull poem, i really admire it
xx

I like it, very nice poem indeed. Good portrayal of feeling and emotions. Very well written and thaught through. The repetiton of the final 2 lines in each stanza works to a very good effect.

5/5 for this one, well done :)

Also this is a great poem poem too the repition of the lines gave the poem a feeling of gloom but it was really great the way yo wrote it 4/5

Great poem. really sad. especially loved the last part.

The gunshot echoed though the night
......Staining the white walls red
His body dropped to the satin sheets
......He was no longer living dead

This is a really good poem!!
very deep ending. I like how you restated the last to lines of each stanza, that was cool.
keep writing
peace
soffe

I thought it was a very good write, but for me the repeating of the lat 2 lines of every stanza was a bit too much, maybe only after every other one, then to me it seems very melodious. Nice work.

Very beautiful wordings. I really like it dear. Loved the way its strung together. 5/5 for sure my dear

Tc
Fsams

Ahhh!!! That ending was so awesome! It freakin' shook me! Wow, was that ending powerful. This was a truly powerful and heart-felt poem. Besides grammarical errors it was really enjoyable. I wish to offer a few suggestions: the repreated lines are too repetitive, without them the poem would be better, I think; and, the word 'though' in the sentence '...though the night' I believe you meant to say through. Other than that this was a fine piece to read, and I am glad I did.

Farewell, friend.

~Richhiee

Wow. it was awesome, i loved it. the wording was superb. nice job 5/5

I thought the imagery was potent and inflective, it translated well, the repetition of some of the lines was a little over kill perhaps, but but it's your work, not mine, and if it works for you ROCK ON!...i love dark, and it sure was that, well done...one more suggestion, maybe try to throw a different metaphor in some of your future stuff in there somewhere...or not...just a suggestion....5...

Wow.. that was very great...i'm not sure if i'm qualified enough to comment on it :)

anyways, the emotions were so powerful in this poem.The repitiotions, like what the other commenters said,added more "feeling" to your poem.. :)

i found the dots quite distracting though..but everything else was great!

Wow.. that was very great...i'm not sure if i'm qualified enough to comment on it :)

anyways, the emotions were so powerful in this poem.The repitiotions, like what the other commenters said,added more "feeling" to your poem.. :)

i found the dots quite distracting though..but everything else was great!