OnStar and A Zombie Invasion

*If you don't know what OnStar is, it's simply an in-vehicle safety and security system created to help protect you and your family on the road.*

OnStar: *A man says calmly* Hello, How can I help you?

Woman: *In a panic voice* I need the police!

OnStar: Okay, Dialing...

Woman: Hurry they're trying to break in my car!!

OnStar: I'm Sorry Lady I can't get the police on the line... Should I keep trying?

Woman: *In an upset and mad voice* What do you Mean you Can't get the Police on the Line?!?! I paid 3,000 Dollars Extra Just to get a car with OnStar!!! And NOW you're telling me you CAN'T get a hold of the Police!!

OnStar: The lines are busy, what's your emergency?

Woman: * With an anger voice* There are ZOMBIES trying to break into my CAR!!

OnStar: *Questioning voice* Lady have you been doing any illegal substances???

Woman: *Loud and Anger voice* For how much I paid for this OnStar!! You better start walking to the police station RIGHT NOW!! OR I"M going to drive MY car over to YOUR station, and YOU'RE going to be the ONE in a state of EMERGENCY!!

OnStar: *Doubtful voice* Still no answer... Do you want me to call the Asylum instead??

Woman: *Angrily* I can't believe I paid for ONSTAR, you GUYS can't even CONTACT the POLICE!!! *Pissed off* Before you could even get the police on the line, I'LL be at the STATION with a SHOTGUN in my HANDS yelling *Sarcastic and Mad voice* "Try calling the POLICE!! Hahaha .... See If YOU can get a hold of them NOW!!!

OnStar: ......

Woman: *Crazed voice* HAHAHA!!! Now what are YOU going to DO!?!?! I'm running the BITHEZ over with my CAR!!!

OnStar: ..... *Panics and starts calling the Asylum on the other line*

Woman: *Crazed voice* What's going to stop Me from finding you NOW?!? HUH!?!?

OnStar: ...... *Can't get a hold of the loony bin*

*A loud crashing sound*

Woman: * Loud crazy laughing* Haha!! 10 POINTS for hitting the OLD BUM!!!

OnStar: *Loud and panic voice* What!! you hit a bum!?!

Woman: *Clam and crazed voice* It was only a zombie... no need to worry Sir. *Grins*

OnStar: *Shaking with a scared voice* Arreeeee.... you Okkkkk Ladyyy?

Woman: *Psychotically Humming*

OnStar: *Screaming in his head* OH MY GOD!! She is after ME!!

Woman: *Calm and in a crazed voice* Hey, How much would I get if I hit the man in the blue with a gun??

OnStar: *Shocked and panic voice he says in his head* Oh SH!T she GOING to HIT the Police!! There's no helping us NOW!!

*Another loud crashing sound*

Woman: *Excited and happy voice* Wee!! HEHEHEHE, Did you see THAT!!! He just flew over the hood of my car!! 200 Points for MEE!! YA!!

OnStar: *Pulls the phone away from his ear, and looks at the phone with a scared face and starts whining in fear*

Woman: OH LOOK!!! I found IT!!! *Hangs up quickly*

OnStar: OH NO!!! *Panics and looks out the window* OH MY GOD... HELP ME!!!

Woman: *Get out of the car and skips to the back of the car and opens the trunk*

OnStar: *Drops the phone and stares out the window and looks for a emergency exit*

Woman: *Digging though her trunk with a crazed smile as she pulls out a shotgun and sings loudly like Michael Jackson* " Just show your FACE in broad day light, I'm telling you on how I feel, Going to hurt you badly, Going to SHOOT to KILL!! Come on, Come on, Get out HERE!! Alright? I'm giving you TILL the count of THREE!! to show YOURSELF!! Or I'm COMING IN!!"

OnStar: *Covers his ears and says to himself* I don't know what is going to kill me first, her Terrible singing, or that shotgun she calls "The Happy Maker"

Woman: *Thinks she is Elmer Fudd* Shh.. Be vewy vewy quiet I'm hunting wabbits. *Turn her head sharply toward the OnStar station with a psychotic grin and starts creeping towards the station slowly with "The Happy Maker" in her hands*

OnStar: *Fearful and Confused Voice* OH my God Why!?!? I only cheated on my taxes ONCE!.. or was it twice?? And I went to church once BEFORE, Remember?? Why me!! WHY ME??

* Loud noise of glass breaking*

Woman: *Broke a hole in the glass door in front of the building and stick her head though it and screams in a crazed voice* Here's JOHNNY!!!

OnStar: *Grabs the phone and dials up his mother who is high while he is sitting in the corner of the room on the second floor of the building crying in a fearful voice* Mommy...

Mom: *Scared and confused* What do you want from me!?!?!

OnStar: Mom!

Mom: *Scared as Hell* NOO!!!... YOU'RE not going to TAKE ME ALIVE!!!

OnStar: MOM!!

Mom: *Smiles happily and says* Oh ... Hi son.

OnStar: I Need Your HELP!!

Mom: *With a confused voice* You want me to put Lasey down??

OnStar: Noo Mom Listen!! This woman has a shotgun!! And She is trying to KILL ME!!!

Mom: *With an understanding voice* Ohh.. *smiles* You want me to put Lasey down with the shotgun the woman has??

Woman: *Inside the building walking towards the staircase screaming in an insane voice* 1....2... I'm AFTER YOU!!!

OnStar: You Hear that MOM!!!

Mom: *Surprised and shocked voice* Oh My God!!

OnStar: Yeah See!! She Is Coming AFTER ME!!

Mom: *Surprised and Serious Voice* The Dog TALKS!!!!!

OnStar: Noo!!! The Dog Is Not Talking Mom!! *Really started believing there was a dog*

Woman: *At the foot of the stairs Madly singing* 3... 4.... I'm going to shoot YOU for SHOR!!

Mom: *Forgets what's happening* Oh NOO!!! THERE going to Kill MEE!!!

OnStar: *Crying in the phone loudly* NO...! MOM She Not trying to Kill YOU!!

Mom: *All Happy and relived* Oh Good! *smiles* Is she coming over for some Whisky??

Woman: *Stops at the top of the stairs and Laughs and says confusedly* What the hell is going on!?!?!

OnStar: *Blurts out without thinking* You are at 5, 6!

Woman: *Remembers and says* Oh Yeah!!! *coughs and sings in a loud crazed voice* 5... 6... I See YOU FELIX!!!

OnStar: *Thinks and then says in a confused voice* Wtf!! My name isn't Felix....

Mom: *Confused to and panics* OMG!!! IT ISN'T?!?!?!

Woman: *Walking slowly towards "Felix" Thinking she is like Freddy* 7.... 8 ... Your Death AWAITS!!!

Mom: *All of the sudden gets super happy and screams out* OMG!!! Barney IS ON!!!! YAAA!!! BARNEY BARNEY!!!! *Drops the phone and Runs to the T.V.*

OnStar: *Shouts out in a Panic Voice* MOM?!??!?!?!!

Mom: ..............

OnStar: *Runs out the Emergency Exit Screaming out* HELP!!!! HELP!!! There Is A Crazy Lady AFTER ME!!!!!

Woman: *Watches him run away and shouts out in a scared and confused voice* OMG!!! WHERE?!?!?! *Looks around the room in a panic*

*The Phone Starts To Ring*

Woman: *Walks over to the phone and Answer it* OnStar How may I help You??

~The End~