The Same Pain

1...2...

i don't know what to do

3...4...

i cant take this pain anymore

5...6...

now my emotions are starting to mix

7...8...

i cant think straight

9...10...

please, no. not again...

my tears start to rush
no matter how much i try to keep them in
i tell my self no, but the urge begins

the lies,the drama,the past
comes to life
everything that ever hurt me
right before my eyes

crying isn't what i do
and i know I'm stronger than this
but at this point its too much
to just ignore or dismiss

i cant fight it any longer
and i turn my hand into a fist
then it happened
there goes the first slice on my wrist

I told myself
I wouldn't do this ever again
but I'm desperate
to put this pain to an end

over and over
I cut my arm
but in my mind
I'm doing no harm

nothing matters now
as I turn numb
then I look down
at the scars Ive done

over and over
I tell myself that I'm OK
and now that its done
the pains gone away