Today We Could Revive

In all honesty, I'm not to keen on this one.
It just seems to lack something, like you're holding back a little with your words..

I was also thrown by the fact most of the poem is in stanzas but then you have one couplet, I thought that distracted the flow.

I think if you put a little more work into this, it could become something beautiful.

It's about the sedentary lifestyle growing in America. It's about laziness.

This was a lovely piece and it talks about our faith but the flow were a bit off coz i can't understand what u really trying to point out in here, is it trying to revive or our own choice? there are some lines that talks that way..well keep it up

I liked the last two lines of each stanza, very well written 5/5

I would probably understand this poem a lot more if i knew what the world revive meant, well what context your using it in, but either way, wow....cool poem i really really liked it!