Alright I have to smile at this poem because to me it's a little strange. :) It's a little twilight zone dream like for me. I'm sure...or at least I hope that it does really make sense and it's just that it's put in the metaphores that for me a bit strange. It's just not my type of poetry. I don't know how to tell you improve really because I'm sure whatever type of poetry you are doing it's good but for my taste I don't like it. I liked this one a little more only because to me it made no sense. :) I'll give it a three only because I think you're doing whatever type you're doing right and that it's just me.

"And I shot him;
the crow with a telegram."

brilliant, really.
your writing, yet short in most cases... creates amazing imagery. i'm quite intrigued.
ace work.

5/5 by far.

isaac.

An astounding poem Silver, Yet very sad.
A crow with a telegram
he'd carried my being
[and my baby's ]
under his wing
I'm still shooting crows as I also clutch this burden. Brilliant words dear Lady.
Peace and Blessings

Wow

that is amazing

Your poetry never ceases to amaze me.

This poem was unsual and I really enjoyed it.

Fab

Sondos

X

I thought it was quite blunt. No feeling behind it. I'm sure you find your poems unique. But what good is a poem if no one can understand it but yourself. All you're poems are confusing and hold no emotion behind them.. Just meaningless rambles. Thanks for trying though. Keep it up. Maybe you'll impress me. But as of now. Ya...

This is brilliantly and breathtakingly written. I have read it a few times over, and gain something more each time. A very nice job, keep them coming.

Take Care,
[:

I'm sure you don't need any input from me, but where obviously the majority of the poem is about a specific event you are conveying, it's the first stanza that I read many times over. Ten ton indeed. Fantastic.