Self-destruct

Sifting through this blur, this mess inside my head
Thoughts are never matching what is really said
Logic is uncertain, sense cannot be found
I'm longing to be buried deep within the ground

Wrapped up in this craze, hating all the doubt
These suicidal ways, I wish to live without
Always close, never far; I won't be left alone
dreadful intentions pervade on their own

My breaking point I've passed, far too long ago
Appearing to be happy is strictly just for show
Faking is a habit, I'm as artificial as they come
It's time to be sent back to wherever I came from

These tendencies are growing I'm losing any will
Desire is slipping through as I wait so very still
Nothing seems to change, Nothing is ever fine
I'm drawing out my death and ready to cross the line

Of all my wants and wishes, it's the first on my list:
Letting those I love forget me then ceasing to exist
Everything that's holding on, I want to go away
I'm tired of waking up to another "beautiful day"

Conflicting thoughts are clashing deeply from within
There's no use in thinking of what I could've been
It's time I turn my back on everything that's here
I'll dive into uncertainty clinging to my fear

Goodbye is not enough, I love you isn't right
Nothing I can say will ever bring insight
So as I leave this world...selfish and restricted
I ask you to remember: this act was self-inflicted

-rolo