This is what you've done to me

I used to think of you each and every day,
Ever since the moment that you passed away,
I wondered if you could hear me every time I talked,
I wondered if you'd walk with me where ever I walked.

I used to be ashamed because of the last time I seen you,
I was so afraid because of what you've been through,
You body had changed, just through the first year,
Inside you were still the same, with each and every tear.

I used to be afraid to visit you at your new stone,
Would you recognize me, because I have grown?
When I finally got there I talked about nothing at all,
Trying to get a grip, I felt like I had to fall.

I used to be afraid that I would forget about you,
So I thought about you each minute, and what you've been through
I still wish that I could have died instead of you,
That way you'd live that life that you deserved to.

It took a long time Nannie, but I am standing tall.
After all I have been through, I still have it all.
I have your laugh, your smile, and some of your personality my dear,
But the best thing of all, because of you I have no fear.