Your Private War

by Daisy if you do   Aug 9, 2007


Biting tongue in two
With bitter words unspoken
Hatred boiling deep
Your ties that bind lay broken

Voices in your head
Rule out your common sense
Desperate measures of a man
Is your lone defense

Holy water thinner
Than our blood was thick
Absurd to burn a candle
When there is no wick

Fighting off the urges
Succumbing to attack
Private war, your hell
Everything fades to black

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Kay,

    Such bitterness and sadness lies beneath these words...
    Excellent write, though.

    Take care,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 17 years ago

    by Tracy D Rollings

    Excellent poem , well written and sad and very deep, lot of emotional feeling felt in it, wonderful choice of words, great job, your friend Tracy d,,,,,,5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Excellent job. So much imagery && very deep.

    Keep it up && Take care!

    -Shannon <3

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    "Biting tongue in two
    With bitter words unspoken
    Hatred boiling deep
    Your ties that bind lay broken"

    ^ What an intense opening. This piece actually reminded me of the Great Controversy, or the battle within the mind. The seeming madness drawn out by a mental illness and/or the character himself was spine-chilling. I further liked the thought of a tale behind this tale. When you said, "Your ties that bind lay broken", it made me think that the character probably has family relationship problems and such-to's...
    I truly enjoyed this piece, though. Thanks for sharing. :)

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    Kay
    Graet job on this piece. Imagery was great. Very sad and heartfelt.
    Take Care Cindy

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