Angel eyes

Not long ago my heart was broken... Secrets kept to myself destroyed and crushed... A pain I never knew ruled my world... The rose petals fell till only a stem and thorns were left... After the winter son only the small and shivering roots remained, hiding under the mask of snow. Like a clown wears a mask, the paint to hide the tears... my mask became a part of me... my defense against the world. The joyful golden child turned into a phantom hiding away from the world...But then one day someone took the time to look beneath the mask to the girl hiding underneath. It was not the first who dared to look, but the only to keep on searching and truly cared... For this someone my heart is theirs if only they can find the key I destroyed in anguish not so long ago.... What is written is not good, but to deny the paper it's words is a much crueler punishment... The heart that beats inside is aching and bruised and in whole is not entirely intact... but a heart even if it is not whole still lies beneath the mask.
This someone is different than anyone else I have ever met.... And when another told me I would never find anyone else quite like this someone, I don't think the other knew quite how true his statement was... This someone gave me the second chance that life will never give... I smile and laugh again something I thought I'd never do. This special someone is uncovering and thoughts of the little golden girl... A little girl who so long ago wrote down everything she dreamed she would find somewhere someday...the one who cares for others who walks that extra mile... Her little paper cut outs pasted together with innocence and hope, a collage of dreams long forgotten... Till one day the phantom came across and old cardboard box... Inside were dreams and memories of the past of one little girl.... At the bottom of the box once so carefully pasted together was the collage forgotten till the moment... And when I looked down in my hands and the picture that they held I realized that it was you, your face staring back up at me... They say that eyes are the pathway to the soul, yet your eyes seem more like the windows to life itself... The smile.... the laugh... the perfect symmetry...all stared right back up at me...the face I see at night...the last image before I fall asleep... A whispered prayer so long a now seemingly answered for a moments time.... My heart it shakes a beat. I look up around my room the same smile... the angel eyes...
The nightmares they still come and go they always will... but the worst is when the headlights show your face in the mirror.... The panic...the tears... chase sleep far away.... It is only when the phone rings and I hear your voice so mellow and calm my heart begins to slow its beat....knowing that you are safe and sound...It is just a nightmare that came again.... It makes me realize how much you mean to me to remember those seconds before I woke when the world had ended...I thought that all the tears were gone but seeing the running ink on the paper beneath my pen I realize that it isn't quite so The memories of the past will always be like a scar slowly dimming over time, but it is no longer the fears of the past that make me tremble but the angel standing next to me I dread that I will blink and my angel will disappear... I had finally agreed to the hand that I was dealt to live a life I did not care to like... All hope I had given up when happiness walked in my back door.... It caught me off guard and luck is not something I have ever had...It had to be a heaven sent miracle.... If you were to slip through my fingers, I know my heart would die for sure... When your arms are around me and your breath is on my cheek, your heartbeat pounding in my ears...I have never felt so safe and secure as I do when your there... I am finding it hard to refuse my heart the feelings it wants to express to scared I will lose what I have left... But the more I know you and the more I learn, I think that I would risk what I had left in hopes of winning yours... I think I want to be more than just a friend... The scars they still run deep, so long I have guarded my heart I fear the pain if I am wrong... I am bound for the highest peak or the deepest canyon...but that may be a risk I have to take... These words are hard for me to write... to lift off my mask and show my face... They are not fancy and not very great... All I know is when the phone rings and your name runs across the screen my heart does something I didn't know that it could do...it skips a beat... The world suddenly seems to be a happier place.... A smile slips across my face and my life is suddenly worth its while.