Wow...this was rather sad. But it sounded more like a story then a poem but I still think its very good =] Keep it up 5/5

Omg
this is so sweet and sad
at first i thought it would turn around and they would have a surprise for him but this ending is better.
rhyming is a bit off but still really good.
much love .xx

I really like this very much.
Its very moving and actually makes you feel sad for them.
Good job

I really like this very much.
Its very moving and actually makes you feel sad for them.
Good job

There's some missing punctuation and it's swarmed with pronouns. Not saying it's bad or anything. It is really sad and touching. The emotions are definitely there.

marcella

I didn't expect for the kid to kill himself.. I guess he didn't have any friends either. :(

There were a few things that messed up the flow.. like spelling and grammar.

Other than that it was great.. I almost cried.. :)

*Jayde*

Way to go and depress me before i go to bed lol. Good point about people giving up to early and to easily. Time slips everyone and you can't always hold them accountable for it. Nice work. --jarrod.

This is what I mean when I always say that people should try to hold on because things do always get better ~ I love when poems tell stories ~ Nice job ~

This was a deep poem with a sad story behind it. I liked it alot, but the grammer mistakes were distracting. And the spelling one too. Take care. 4/5
~ Lainey

I got a bit confused about the pills then the knife part like not really saying if he did take the pills even though he walked away from it i guess and how it didn't really say he did take the knife and stuff. but besides all that you did a great job of writing this. keep up the good work, keep on writing. love always and forever.

OHMiGOSH. I didn't see the ending coming... So sad. I REALLY like it. Keep on writing. 5/5
-Jackie

I didnt really care much for the last stanza but the rest of it was fantastic
5/5 because i could find no other faults

Yeah it was really sad an amazing :O

Wow!!! thats sad... as......
but its good .. just wow ... i hope tht didnt happen .. :(

Well. nice poem, but so sad. A very powerful storyline

Omfg channy u made me cry!!!!! not really but close!!!

The imagery and the descriptions in this piece are so strong, they carry the piece and leave it like life really is, always twisting and turning. I wish I had seen this piece much sooner, because I love it. It stands out and leaves a true impression with the audience. Excellent 5/5