I whished you'd just see
deep inside of me

whished-wished
"inside of" is no word
only inside would do

You need to improve a lot
so many errors are there in the poem
but i can well imagine when the feelings take over, you just see the pain
I would give you 4/5
BUt keep it up my friend
I can imagine your state
May GOD bless you my dear

tc
and I would like to be your friend
Send me a message if you want
You can share your joys and sorrows with me always
best wishes
your new friend
Rohan

Very nicely written. you knowthe meaning of love. great job