Dear mom

I try to be what you want, a success you need
not just a daughter but a friend in whom you believe
I have tried to be the ultimate, and walk the line
pull this mask over tears and pretend to be just fine
inside i feel like i have failed you, a million pieces of broken glass shredding my insides
make you open your naive eyes and know your "baby girl" really does feel?
I wish i could make you real
I'm not just a child that is the owner of a thousand needs
not just a amature, when you cut me i swear i bleed
I just want the security net that you dont seem to carry
this is the only part of my life i cannot wait to blow and bury
my mind is everywhere at once never in plane content
feelings of your happiness has came and went
I am scared deep down because I dont know whats next
my rationality as you have said isn't always best
exceptness would be amazing, understatement would be the best
you know when you finish my sentence because you already know the rest
I am screaming it in my face you dont know me, you dont know my deepest secrets i whisper in my sleep
your silence towards me in life makes these tears creep
but you know i will be just fine, mom i really will
I just wish you could know me, wish i could tell you what i really feel
i wish is just a wish though.. and a thought is just a thought
after all when it rains it pours
I wish the rain would just hold of for a few seconds more