A Lifeless Portrait (Pantoum)

by Debbie   Aug 11, 2007


On a cold winter's eve it all began;
By his portrait, my soul's desire was warmed.
No more than once I beheld this man,
Whose languid gaze held much pleasant charm.

By his portrait, my soul's desire was warmed,
Fondling me with eyes too listless to lure,
Whose languid gaze held much pleasant charm;
On sketch, moment in ancient times endured.

Fondling me with eyes too listless to lure,
Unveiling secrets shrouded by heart's woe;
On sketch, moment in ancient times endured,
Avid dash of fury cloaked death's plateau.

What sweet mockery consoled his demise!
No more than once I beheld this man--
Man of pure indolence in vicious guise
On a cold winter's eve... his fall began...

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The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

((Club Poetry Challenge 08/07/2007))

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Elizabeth Ann

    I enjoyed this form of poetry very much. Though I am guilty of neglecting from any form whatsoever, I can certainly appreciate my wonton tastes of it, ignorant though I may be.

    The subject of a man in a portrait was romantic; I think "romantic" describes the mystiscm of a "look" without words. Communication without words is so underappreciated, I find; although it's use is used deliciously in romance novels, which I attest, are warming indeed so indulged;)

    You language mimed the subject quite appropriately, as it seemed ancient and alluring. I swore I could see a girl standing before a painting with her head turned, in my mind’s eye.

  • 17 years ago

    by Phil

    A beautiful piece, I loved it 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Edward D Zurovec

    An astounding work of art, beautifully worded.
    When I read a Poem, I try to understand the emotion of the writer, Seeing a admired hero of olden times, not a Lover. Someone great, a leader perhaps, Napolean. Awesome job, just awesome!
    Peace and Blessings

  • 17 years ago

    by xPerfect Chaosx

    This is a spectaular poem my sexy secret lover. In such a constricting style. It's amazing. The depth and flow are incredible love. Wonderful write ^^

    Much Love,
    Your Super Secret Sexy Lover ^_~

  • 17 years ago

    by chavii

    A reall marvel you have penned debbie, such enchanting piece to read, Beautiful imagery with best choosen vocab.
    Keep up the good work :)

    Take care
    chavii.

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