He Is My Kind Of Rain

by Tricky Daze   Aug 11, 2007


A little tear drop falls down to the paper
Ruins the handwriting and almost all my mind
My bruised heart yells as I remember my best caper
With raindrop hitting the window like a melody of the defined

A clump of paper concreted with ink stand next to me
All these pieces of papers have secret memories within
As my tears reveals them all from ink and hurt my esprit
Memories take me to another dimension as I'll remind my biggest sin

Gazing the rain falling when I see this hallucination
Me and him kissing each other at this curtain of rain
A part of me wants to hide but he makes me love this sophistication
Not aware of the things will happen but sensible of love in my vein

Days past together so fast together but so with full of fondness
But made me learn how precious life is that I couldn't know before
One rainy day that a car ran over him and my life went tore
So every day that rain falls is like the day I lost his occurness

From now to on he is everytime my kind of rain
So tenderness he can bring with every touch
Harbors my soul like an indigent flower so insane
But only rain drops left to remember when I lose my clutch

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Not my best but Please tell me what you think..I need thoughts and ideas to make it better
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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    I do believe "occurness" is not a word. You could hyphenate it though. [occur-ness] I think I would replace it with a completely new word though. It sounds sort of funny. Anyway, the imagery here is wonderful. Great depth and creativity.

    marcella

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    Laura
    What a sad piece you have penned.
    Good job!
    Take care Cindy

  • 17 years ago

    by Leah20

    I think the rhymes in this poem were forced a bit. Also, there were a few instances where I think you made up words to fit a rhyme scheme. The grammar was off in places. Overall, I think this poem needs to be reworked quite a bit, nice start, but now comes the time for revision.

  • 17 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    First two stanzas to me were a little iffy the rest was beatiful 5/5 very nice

  • 17 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I like it very much. It is excellently written and holds so many emotions. I like the title , it's very captivating. Whole poem has great choice of words, and you created very vivid imagery through it. The third stanza is my favorite.
    5/5 from me; keep up!

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