by Tricky Daze Aug 11, 2007
category :
Love, romance /
lasting love
A little tear drop falls down to the paper |
by Cella Bella
I do believe "occurness" is not a word. You could hyphenate it though. [occur-ness] I think I would replace it with a completely new word though. It sounds sort of funny. Anyway, the imagery here is wonderful. Great depth and creativity. |
by Cindy
Laura |
by Leah20
I think the rhymes in this poem were forced a bit. Also, there were a few instances where I think you made up words to fit a rhyme scheme. The grammar was off in places. Overall, I think this poem needs to be reworked quite a bit, nice start, but now comes the time for revision. |
First two stanzas to me were a little iffy the rest was beatiful 5/5 very nice |
I like it very much. It is excellently written and holds so many emotions. I like the title , it's very captivating. Whole poem has great choice of words, and you created very vivid imagery through it. The third stanza is my favorite. |