Winds of Change

by Leah20   Aug 12, 2007


Sky fades into tomorrow
Everlasting, impressing sorrow
Dark, Macabre, Dancing free
Prevailing winds, our enemy

Dance, Dance my child
Dark, Daunting, Wild
Sleep, Sleep my son
Life but just begun

Herein lies our enemy
Darkest tides turn frothing seas
Turning, Rowing to dismay
Colors wind will not display

Life but death and all in one
Pray tell, who's battle's really won
Tell me will it soon be done
As I drown in sleep

Wild, Tickling, Dancing free
I will not win o'er drying sea
Crooked life falls all but down
But no one there can hear the sound

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Pesamenteiro

    Beautiful poem :)
    The rhyming and rhythm is perfect
    The only thing I would change is in the second stanza, last line, it would sound better as “life has but just begun”
    And in the fourth stanza, you should put an adjective before ‘sleep’ such as ‘endless’ or something (I’m no good at adjective XD)
    You begin and end it perfectly, amazing.
    5/5
    ~rayleen

  • 16 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    This is freaking great, your flow is amazing and the wording was impeccable, great imagery too. wonderful wonderful write... 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Lori

    I really liked this piece. It was very expressionate and it was deep. It gave off that intensity that should be included in a dark poem. And you def gave it off! Love it!

    Sky fades into tomorrow
    Everlasting, impressing sorrow
    Dark, Macabre, Dancing free
    Prevailing winds, our enemy

    ^^My favorite! This is an awesome opening! I love it! Great work!! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Mishka

    Wow i love your wording... it sounds so forbidden, this poem. i like it... you're great with the rhythm. 5/5
    mishka :)

  • 16 years ago

    by FaithHopeNLove

    Wow! Your poem is so vivid and so strong!! Very dramatic, and a pleasing read, despite the confusion i experienced over the specific topic at first. I love it! Wonderful ideas, elquent writting skills, simply beautiful. Fantastic!

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