Alone at the cross roads

The darkness pumps in my veins
My worries long since gone
My arms a mess of cuts and scars
You never knew what was wrong
For years on end
You never saw the other side
The one that stayed in darkness
The one who liked to hide
The part of me that told my self
That what I did was bad
That what I brought into this world
Was all I ever had
My thoughts and my feelings
I kept concealed
Hoping that in time they might heal
But I was so very wrong
For time only made things worse
Whatever I said
Always came out wrong
No matter how much I rehearsed
So without care I go through time
Keeping to myself
Though it feels like a crime
Whatever I do
I have to watch my back
Coz reality could smother the good points
And show the qualities I lack
Never with hope
No one to turn to
Alone at a cross roads my life is through
The sign says heaven but my life is hell
I don’t know which way to go
There is no one here to help.