Waiting

Finally, our Anniversary... You wanted a romantic time alone, just us.. And us, being the people we are, with the friends that we have, no one could know about us. A secret, we had to remain.

A Late night date, we meet at the lake, and walk on the dock. Sit with our feet in the water, as we had done so many times before..

We'd hold hands, and walk silently, knowing the love we shared. No need to confuse the moment with words. Laying for hours, enveloped in each others arms. Just love... That was our only hope. Aside from the chaotic world outside, the pain and the heartbreak, it all melted away when i looked into your eyes, and saw.. you're spirit. i know who you are... who you really are...

**Sneaking out of the house, early in the morning, was an easy task... I slipped my way out of the driveway and past the neighbors dogs. Running down to the lake, i didn't see you waiting, like you had always done.. But though nothing of it..

I sat with my toes soaking in the water. And i laid on my back waiting for your arrival..I'd sat for 3 hours and we had planned to meet here 2 hours ago. I began to wonder, and worry... As the morning light began to shine on the beautiful lake water, i realized i had been waiting for 6 hours, and not a word....

I got up to leave, but my heart told me, you'd be here any minute, just wait.. a minute longer... and i waited... and i waited...

I don't honestly know how many times i told myself there was a good reason for you not to show. but i know, when i had gotten around to thinking that you might have died, and that was the only logical idea, my father was standing over me.. he didn't ask any questions.. i suppose he saw the pain inside me already.

As my dad scooped me up off the dock, and grabbed my shoes, a tear slid down my face and landed in the water.. leaving those little ripple rings.

I found myself later that day, laying in my bed... The pain was so sharp, the toll of my heart breaking, while i waited was not beginning to roll around. My knee's were weak, my eyes were droopy, and my mind was. racing, but slowly.

I thought for a long time, and wondered if it was all a dream... but my heart hurt, and my body ached. I knew that you really didn't make it, because you meant not too.

Getting up and going to school, a piece of my heart, told me.. you'd be waiting for me, that you'd be there ready to tell me that you loved me...

Arriving at school, i see you, standing alone at the front of the building. My heart races, and i run to you but just as i come within 10 feet of you, a girl, about my height, with short brown hair and a pink shirt, with a black skirt wraps her arms around your waist.

And before i could breath, you put your hands on her shoulders and kissed her for head, just as you had done with me.. I died inside right then.. Everything in my life, slipped down, with ten times the weight on my shoulders, and i collapsed... Crying a bit, and gasping for air, i silently screamed," Wait".

And in a way, i am still the girl, sitting on the dockside, with my toes in the warm lake, waiting... telling myself that you love me... please, i need you to love me... but you don't... In another way, i am the girl that decides to drown herself in the beautiful lake. The memories soaking inside the water, is already killing me... Let them rest.. let them rest... I'll be waiting.. Waiting for you on the dock...

~Marina~