It's Who I Am But Not Who I'm Supposed To Be

by Shamia   Aug 13, 2007


Let Me Tell You About This Boy
Who Think He's A Girl
Who Feels Lost and Forgotten
In This Big Selfish World

You See It Started When He Was 8
A Family Friend Put Him In A Position He Would Hate
On Hands and Knees, Resembling A Dog
Eyes Shut Tightly
Praying GOD Please Don't Let This Last Long

Finally It Was Over, Or So He Had Thought
But Dealing With This Pain At Eight Years Old
Is Something He Had Never Been Taught

So He Went To His Room
Hoping He'll Forget About It Tomorrow
But He Had Been Robbed of His Manhood Dignity & Pride
And Filled With Sorrow

So Tomorrow Finally Came
Now He Was 10
And Hadn't Told Anyone
What Happened To Him

So He's Walking Around With A Burdened Heart
And A Scarred Mind
With The Understanding That Situations Only Get Worse
With The Passing Of Time

Now He Was 16
And Hadn't Had A Girlfriend
He Couldn't Understand Why He Acted Like A Girl
But Felt So Connected To Men

He Told Himself
He Would Never Go Back To When It All Started
He Couldn't Relive This Painful Ordeal
So He Brushed His Feelings Off As If They Didn't Matter
But He Knew This Nightmare He Was Living Was Real

He Hated Himself But He Didn't Understand
That He Wasn't The One To Blame
And All He Wanted To Do
Was To Rid His Soul Of This Shame

So Everynight
Getting Rid Of This Feeling Is What He Attempted
He Would Get On His Knees
Look To GOD And Whisper:

Dear God
I Love you and I'm sure you know it's True
but the one question im left to ask
is do you love me too
see i know the whole world is in your hands
but i feel like you've kicked me out
lord please help me to understand
what's this all about
they say everything happens for a reason
so tell me what's the reason for my life
because if you don't have a purpose
there's no point in living right
see i know you're the creator
but i feel like you've forgotten about me
but now lord i come to you and tell the truth
I KNOW THIS IS WHO I AM, BUT NOT WHO IM SUPPOSED TO BE.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by happilyneverafter

    "I KNOW THIS IS WHO I AM, BUT NOT WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE." i love this sentence...so simple but with in depth meanings=)

  • 13 years ago

    by Shamia

    Thanx!...not sure if there's a way to tell but I did the same thing earlier to "Sad Story "A Blind Woman"

  • 13 years ago

    by Shamia

    I know I'm extremely late but thanks for all the feedback!!! I haven't been on here in a while, nor have I written any poetry in a long time....I'm off to see what new poems have been uploaded (I'll start with the 5 of you first...thanx again!!)

  • 14 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This is incredibly sad because you have just described the feelings of soooo many men and women out there..seeking to be loved, accepted, admired...it's so sad how depression sinks in and before you know it you're life is a living hell because of it...

    As far as your poem goes, I'd say watch your syllable count. i like that you were rhyming but I wasn't sure what kind of form you were using, I was just thrown of a few times and had to re-read a few things....over all I thought it was a good poem! Loved the title!
    Keep it up
    Chelsey

  • 15 years ago

    by efstathia

    I loved it, so much emotion.

    So many kids are going through that situation, it sad really. You did an amazing job writing this poem.

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