Having everything come to an end this fast and this suddenly
there are a few things that remain unsaid and need to be heard.
chris i know you did this because you think its better for me well
its not and i dont care what you say it is not and never will be, i
also know you did this because it will make it easier on you and
what is going on with you and your life right now. i know you are
going through an extremely amount of pain and changes and i
need you to know i am always going to be here for you even if
you're not mine anymore. even though you're not mine im still
yours because you still have my heart and you still have me
whiped. i never did find out what kind of spell you have over me
but all i know is it's a pretty damn good one since im still in love
with you after all of this. when i said even if i died before i got the
chance to marry you i would wait for you and then marry you in
heaven, well pookie that still stands. i will marry you one day
i dont care if you and i marry other people i will eventually some
how, some way marry you. i dont care how many people read this
and think im stupid and think that im to young to be in love or that
what you and i were not in love because baby i know we are in love
and no matter what anyone says im always going to be in love with
you cacky. i have told you everything about me and everything
that has happened to me and everything that i want to happen to me
i have not left anything out. you are probably the person who knows
me best hell babes you probably know me better than i do!
i never got the chance to tell you any of this and babycakes i really
wish i did have the chance. i remember the night you said you fell
in love with me. you told me that your grandma ( g-ma as you call her)
walked into your room and said "chris, whats wrong with you? why are
you smiling?" and you replied with "im in love" then your grandma said
"oh thats nice babycakes now come make me a grilled cheese."
and by the time you told me all this and went to go make her the grilled
cheese she was already asleep in her bed. chris we have had so many
good memories like our all nights, and how we could say something
that we liked and it would turn out that the other person liked the exact
thing and when we found that out we're say that we matched. and how
we would always try and out sweet talk the other and how every night
we had to talk to another because if we didnt we couldnt sleep right
and i could go on for hours baby. i love you so much and i just
dont know how im ever going to find someone that ill love the way i
love you. and i know we both know that i will never find someone like
that because im "beyond" in love with you. so darling if you take
the time to read this i hope youll realise how much i am going to miss
you because theres no use of me wasting my time trying to get over you.
so i might as well just come out and realise that i will follow you where
ever and i will always be by your side even if i cant be with you, i will
always love you and i will never fall out of love with you cause by now
we both know that it is not possible for me to do so. but now after i
have written all this i wonder if you feel the same way as i do...
christopher andrew carnage, i hope you will never forget me because
i wont forget you. "cause id do anything just to hold you in my arms
just to make you laugh cause somehow i cant put you in the past"
i will never be able to put you in the past chris, i will bring you every
where with me in my heart, please take good care of it. because i can
never give it away to someone else because you will always have it.
pookie, i hope you read this and i hope it doesnt hurt you too much,
i just dont want to leave "us" without letting you know everything that
was kept inside. baby i love you so much you've done so much for me
and i just hope that you know i will never ever forget you.
christopher a. carnage i love you and i always will.
