I Could Not Ask For More

My best friend had a party about a year ago
To celebrate the birthday of her brand new beau
Invitation to a cookout for beer and barbecue
A perfect opportunity to meet someone new

Gladly I accepted and set aside the date
Penned the fourth in ink and began my long await
Surely there would be some single decent men
To show up for free food in honor of their friend

Finally the day arrived, and I was dressed to kill
Being a social butterfly it was time to use my skill
I bought a sultry sundress to wear to for the occasion
Matched a shade of lipstick for innocent persuasion

Arriving a little early to insure myself a seat
Picked a quaint location for the meet and greet
Settled in my chair flashed my winning smile
A handsome man approached me after a short while

We delved in conversation while sipping on some wine
Ate our beans and barbecue and passed away the time
Gesturing for more drink I surrendered to his request
Mixture of the beans and wine was too much to digest

My stomach was growling just beneath our voices
It started making some awful rumbling noises
Trying to be nonchalant I said "excuse me please"
But the building of the gas was just too much to ease

Unaware of my intolerance he offered more to drink
I could not ask for more, my reply began to sink
My tummy was in knots and yearned to be set free
As he poured another glass leaning closer in to me

Squeezing my cheeks tightly to keep the sound intact
Softly whispering in his ear his attention to distract
That moment he embraced with pressure too strong to bear
No refrain from holding back I released it all right there

It happened so quick there was not a moments notice
Obscene sputters filled the air sounding quite atrocious
Embarrassed as I should be I hung my head in shame
But gassy emissions continued of which I could not claim

Signals of humiliation were like beacons in his eyes
We were baffled and confused before we realized
That both of us had suffered from some flatulence
Fate brought us together, and happy we've been since