It's a great poem, I especially love this stanza

Your true beauty must be seen in your eyes,
Because that is the doorway to your heart,
Your heart is the place where love resides.

Grammar check on some parts though- but this is still a beautiful piece

This is a good poem, i love the idea and the uniqueness as i have window it in your lines though i suggest to refrain using the same words all the time (askng me what word is that? the word "Eyes" though i know the content itself must support the title)..and another there are some wrong grammar.. (sorry if i offend you).. oh i forgot! i love the emotion in here it was sweet (another suggestion better put it in the love poems) =)

This is a good poem
i think you should look it over through
i think you have some spelling errors in it
so yeah
but it is good

Keenan

You have alot of good images in this but I think your so stuck on the vamps that you seem to lose the whole art of your work everything does not have to revolve around vampires ace

The meaning of the poem is well expressed. The ending was a little off with the last bit. I really liked...
"Beware, and do not forget me
Because, your eyes will one day close
And forever rest in peace"

my only suggestion is to take off the
"but my vampirism for forever"

taking it off would keep people paying attention to the details used earlier in the poem.

Nice work 5/5 i love it

Wow the ending was unpredictible

When I look at your eyes, I feel disgrace myself,
Every time I close my eyes there your eyes will be,
I see your trueness & love for me in your eyes
^^ why do you feel disgrace for yourself?!

You can control me with your eyes
Your eyes are the most powerful & beautiful
Yes, your whole beauty only in your eyes
^^awww...so cute that you focus in on one characteristic so many girls spend foreever trying to find a guy like that

Of course, your beauty is not in the clothes you wears,
Not in the figure that you carries,
Or not in the way you combs your hair...
^^ its not carries it should be carry

Your beauty is not in face that you cares,
Not in the converse & jokes you share
Not in your style, smile, & skin shine
^^ i have been told that it is not very good to put the & in the poem i used to but so many people think it takes away from the poem!

Your true beauty must be seen in your eyes,
Because that is the doorway to your heart,
Your heart is the place where love resides.
^^aw..one of my teachers said that once and i just thought it was so darn cute!

The beauty of a girl is not in a Physical-attraction,
But true beauty in a girl is reflected in her soul
And I met your soul by drown in your deep blue eyes...
^^^seriously this is one lucky girl

But, our way are crossing each other
Because, you are the one of nearest person of jesses
And I am a Famous Satan of the world...
^^oh conflict..

Beware, and do not forget me
Because, your eyes will one day close
And forever rest in peace, but my vampirism for forever...
^^great ending!

i think this one was my favorite : ) 5/5

Now this poem is much better! Great ending, but along the way there were a few grammar problems. But the voice was evident and for that I rate this 5/5

The colloquialisms enhance the poem for my taste

I love this, I've never read anything quite like it. It's so captivating and unique. And you express yourself very well. I love the ending it was really powerful. So well written. Well done :) 5/5

I love this, I've never read anything quite like it. It's so captivating and unique. And you express yourself very well. I love the ending it was really powerful. So well written. Well done :) 5/5

These triplets hit the spot