Suicide Day

Maybe whoever put me on this earth made me this way
so that I'd die right now
because otherwise
why would I be cursed,
cursed with all this depression
pain and tears
they've lasted all these years
or was I supposed to be
stronger than this
and have the strength
so that I wouldn't give up on my life
and rely on the knife
to take away my pain
but I'm not strong
I'm weak
I want to die so bad
it's the one wish I've had
for so long
I just want the pain to be gone
but no one gets it
they don't see
all this misery
it's all hidden deep inside me
fake smiles display happiness
so that is what I do
pretend everyday
just to seem normal to you
but I'm not
not on the inside
and now I've lost all my pride
taking the razor blade to my wrist
pushing harder and deeper
then ever before
blood keeps coming
there is more and more
my body is numbing
I close my eyes tight
and let the tears fall
then lean against the wall
but slide to the floor
my cries can no longer be heard
and now I'm just a memory
finally getting my wish
now my pain has ended
there's nothing more
I have left to say
this was my suicide day