I am slowly drifting off. I’m losing my touch. Can’t find the will to breathe. Can’t find my love-to-be. I can’t find a way out of this. I wish everything in life came for free. But this life does not work like that. My life will never work the way I want it to be. I inhale dirt. Exhale pain and hurt. I sigh with no relief. I am beat. Tortured from life and love. Love will never remain. They say anything can happen. Anything is possible. Why is it when I think of the possible it turns around on me and becomes unreachable? I do not get this. Do not get this at all. When will I reach my grave? Should I live and remain in pain? Or choke on all my shame. Whatever I choose is nothing good. So what is there to loose? I have no love in my life. No happiness or delight. I cannot fight this tonight. I am toneless. I shall remain neutral. I’ll end this life, with just this gun. It has one bullet left. Should I live and remain in pain? Or choke on all my shame? Oh f*ck it. I’ll die without feeling pain.
