Demons of Despair

by Somber Esprit   Aug 20, 2007


The scars of cold betrayal,
Cut deep into my heart.
The flames of past injustices,
Consume my wounded soul.
The armies of mortality,
Shackle us miles apart.
With worriers of loneliness,
Despair their only goal.

The jagged blade of certainty,
And fiendish hellhounds bark,
The tortured face of one love lost,
Reminds me I'm alone,
I wait in vain to flee this earth,
Embrace the coming dark,
Memories of those I've left behind,
Send chills through every bone.

The anguished demons of despair,
Ignore my feeble plight,
I take my blade, slash long and deep
Wrists crying tears of red,
As twilight comes to claim my soul
I don't put up a fight.
I'll fly unfettered from this realm,
Pain ceases, now I'm dead.

This poem DOES have structure, and DOES have a rhyme scheme. Please read it carefully!

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by 4 track demo

    Hey there..regardless of the post scripto dealeo near the bottom, thought your piece had form, flow, and structure an plenty, nearly all of it worked for me, it kept my attention and moved me, i didnt fall outta my chair, but.. anyway, the only metaphoric type thing i can really crtitque in a not so positive way, was the cutting wrist bleeding scenario deal thing, the visual was fluid and all, i'ts just so overdone, i'm wishing someone, could find a fresh way to express this. but overall, i truly enjoyed the read and look forward to more... you get a a hell yeah from me...

  • 17 years ago

    by STEVE

    You are a talented writer don't be concerned about the negatives you get they are only amatuers I will nominate it for the contest 5/5 Steve

  • 17 years ago

    by Fsams

    The free style you ahve follwowds is great. Keep it up 5/5 and your message is clear

    Tc
    Fsams

  • 17 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    It was good, It was really nice that you put it into a different type of rhyming, Wrote 4 lines then another 4 to rhym with them. It was really good...5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by WiNgS Of StEeL

    Hey this is a good poem!!..te rhyming seemed to be a bit off on some stanzas but all in all i was looking at the whole picture not just how things are worded and yes i enjoyed this poem very muchly ahah!!

    well tk care bree

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