Awhh this is really sad. i almost cried and i pictured it as i read it and it made me all sad :[ i voted 4/5 because in a few parts you kinda went off your rhyming pattern if you know what i mean. :]

What I liked so much about this piece was how it wasn't about you or your emotions but yet it seemed as if it was so real that you were speaking from experience. the flow was a little off in some places but other then that this poem was put together nicely with such strong emotions. Well done keep up the good work ~mel

Very nice poem, the flow is a little of at parts, although I don't really think that matters due to how poweful the poem is, filled with very well portrayed emotion and heartache, it's a shame that the rating system stops at 5 as I'd vote much more highly if possible.

5+/5 very well done :)

Dave.

You did a very nice job writing this and making it very powerful and you didn't even have to experience it.. excellent job.. keep it up =]

A constantly good poem, all the way through, consistent use of the same sort or language and good ryming

Very sad, I liked it. This is a poem I think everyone can relate to. I really liiked the imagery you used. Over all an outstanding poem, great job.

It seemed like something that really happened 2 u bc it was so descriptive....it was really sad and my heart goes out 2 ppl that actually have 2 go through things like that....such a wonderful poem...

Omg sadness..*tears* I loved this poem and cant really say anything bad about it..I love story poems so thats a plus and the flow was great..glad this isnt a true story or I would feel even more sadness.. *sniffles* 5/5

Admirable piece for your age. The flow suffered quite a bit, as it seems the piece hasn't been revised much. Regardless, the piece definitely provokes an emotional response from the reader. My biggest suggestion would be to check your tenses - you have a tendency to switch to pass tense where it's unnecessary. Keeping the poem in present tense will lend a sense of urgency to the writing and allow for a more immediate connection with the reader. Thanks for the read!

Aw it was a very good poem.. I didn't know why 1-2 people down voted it.

You have one mistake.
He said, " Im sorry to have to say this,
= He said, "I'm...

I have one suggestion.
But I have some bad news... so there will be a big pause - the reader will wonder what the bad news is.

^^ That's just a suggestion okay.

Great poem, the content and the words really collocate and make it a good coherent poem. Flows well and its well penned.

Tc
Fsams

Great poem, the content and the words really collocate and make it a good coherent poem. Flows well and its well penned.

Tc
Fsams

Another excellent write....i really like the way you word things and your poems are so easy to relate to. i gotta admit your definetly one of my favourites....you obviously have a lot of talent....im looking forward to reading more!! keep up the good work your doing great!! 5/5

I really cannot imagine that it isnot tru. It felt so real. I almost cried.
It is so well written en convincing.
I guess you can write a best seller. Think about it.

Oh, this is a very sad poem but it really touched me,

you have done a great job and this shows you are really talented dear, keep it up

a 5/5 from me as you truly deserve it

There was actually alot of emotion in this. You have a gift. It flowed well, the wording was simple, yet you made this feel so real.
love Tara-Kay x

This poem is very enotional, ittouches your soul, nice rhyme.
Hope it is not real

Omg! chelle! im crying right now!!!! how dare you not read this one to me!!!! im sooo sad!!!

love you cuz,
~kelly~

Your poem was so sad, it made me feel like I was really going through it. I am close but not quiet there, but if I was I still dont think I could have said it any better. (my main squeeze is very ill and we are working on trying so hard to get him better, he has to get a heart transplant or else, so you can see why your poem touched me.)

For a poem that just came to you and was not an actual event in your life. This poem has good detail and flows with such a great story line. awesome poem. 5/5